Online Dating Safety Tips

As more and more people are finding love online, even more people are finding losers, catfish, and frauds. Finding personal information on the internet is very simple, so there is really no excuse for not pre-vetting the person on the other end of your swiping screen unless your swiping was fueled by a few glasses of Chardonnay and you're willing to forgo the risks in place of the rewards. That being said, anyone can make a dating profile and find a connection.  If my ex was able to meet women on the internet while I was at home pregnant with his babies, you better believe that plenty of other two-faced guys are available for the next 45 minutes or so. It's possible that you don't care if he's married, jobless, or wanted in another state, BUT if anything on that list sounds like a turnoff, follow these steps to find out the dirty deets before getting dirrrty.

Start with your personal defense. 

1.) Share his picture, name, or phone number with a close friend  

2.) Get in the habit of letting a friend know your meeting plans before dates and check in after

3.) Protect your own identity- only share information that you are comfortable with the whole world knowing online

Now for the detective work...

4.) Save his profile picture to your phone, then upload it to a reverse google image search 


What to look for: check for the source on pictures to verify they are originals

Here's why: One time I connected with a guy who had multiple profiles in a few states with different ages. Pretty sure that he was a catfish.Then he sent me a dick pic from a porn site and confirmed that I needed to unmatch.

5.) Scroll his instagram pics

What to look for: verify his age, scan comments for any recent mushy stuff

Here's why: One very handsome instagram user invited me to "his" home for a dip in the hot tub. I clicked on a pic of him with a woman a little older than me and read the caption- he had just celebrated his 21st birthday with his Mom. Conveniently she left the nest for him to find a cradle robber that weekend, but it wasn't me!

5.) Google his phone number
What to look for: You might be able to get his last name, if you don't already have it, which opens your search options 

Here's why: sometimes the red flags are small, like the name on his phone account seems like it might be a parent, but you should never ignore your gut. I almost confirmed a date with a guy in this category who told me he wanted to lick my asshole. I declined. 

6.) Type his phone number in a Facebook search 

What to look for: again, use the account to verify his name or age, scan pics, confirm he's not a Trump supporter

Here's why: Even though we didn't meet online, I still used this tactic on a guy who told me he was 26. I found out he was only 23 and that he graduated from my high school 9 years after me. I'm not looking to date a kid since I have plenty of my own. 

7.) Search LinkedIn for his name, title and workplace

What to look for: confirm his details and note the number of contacts for authenticity. 

Here's why: I almost skipped a date because the google search on his name turned up some fraud stuff, but he had a common name so I took this route and decided to go for it. He was a great catch, but he ghosted me (presumably because I have three kids). He's still out there, so swipe away ladies! 

8.) Scan the state docket lists for police public records 

What to look for: criminal records don't go away. These aren't just speeding tickets, you'll find DUI, domestic abuse, and a host of other serious offenses. 

Here's why: take my word for it- history repeats itself. 

Nothing beats an in person meeting for really getting to know someone, but these are some good strategies for shedding the fear of the unknown. We can't always count on the losers to  disqualify themselves after only a few texts. I'm forever grateful to my first connection on Tinder. He texted me a video of himself having sex with another woman and quickly set the mark that I would need to be on my guard on these sites, even though I have no idea how he didn't completely turn me off of the entire concept of online dating. I guess I'm not afraid of a challenge ;) 

She was obviously fierce. You don’t mess with Elle Woods. | 23 Times Elle Woods Empowered You As A Woman

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

North Star

Early on, when I was falling apart, a friend gave me the advice to, "find someone who has what I want and do what they did." I looked around a room of strangers sharing experiences and literally picked out a person who was wearing a shirt I liked and decided I would follow her lead... for the time being. Although I quickly learned that she did  have more substantial things that I wanted- a relationship, character, a voice- our connection would be short lived because she also had something else I knew well- problems . Finding a sponsor in Al-Anon was harder than I thought. At first I tried calling a few people with easily accessible numbers and reached out to them instead of screaming alone in my head. It was a relief, but brought about a hint of shame when I thought about the verbal onslaught of relationship woes I threw at them. It was no wonder that they didn't openly bring forth the offer to be a sponsor. Still, they did offer meaningful advice when I needed it most
Read more

Permission to be Imperfect

I a m the opposite of a Pinterest Mom. Don't get me wrong- I love Pinterest, but I can't bring forth the magnificent artistry no matter how hard I try or how easy the pin claims to be. Take, for example, my cloth diaper board. I literally named the board about my toddler's poo pants "Haute Fluff" because I thought that shit was adorable and high fashion. Behind the screens, I dealt with more leaks than I can count and a broken dryer, spiders crawling in the sunning diaper rack, and the reality that I will never be *that* green no matter how hard I try. This is why my third baby is in sposies and my middle child pees the bed at age four.  The point I'm trying to make is that I'm not perfect. Although in my vanity I do take 8 selfies before posting the shot online, I know that my imperfections are part of me and they are too numerous to count. However, there was a time when I thought that accepting my imperfections meant that I could label them all. I co
Read more

The Truth

Image
The thing about Step 1 for me, was that I was ALL-IN for it before I even walked into the rooms. I wanted nothing to do with the alcoholism around me, so I was willing to admit ANYTHING in order to escape it. "Admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable."  I could have admitted that in my sleep. In fact, it felt so easy and gave me such confidence that I felt buoyed towards Step 2 right away. I even remember thinking that I could check it off, move through Step 2 in February, and spend a month on each of the rest of the steps so I that I could make it to the end of the program in a year. It wasn't like that at all though. Instead, steps 1, 2, and 3 felt a little like learning to crawl, walk, run. I would move forward and then slip back into the beginning as necessary. I literally found myself on my hands and my knees repeating Step 1 over and over again through tears after finding a string of naked pictures on my husband's phone
Read more