Posts

Showing posts from February, 2017

Online Dating Safety Tips

Image
As more and more people are finding love online, even more people are finding losers, catfish, and frauds. Finding personal information on the internet is very simple, so there is really no excuse for not pre-vetting the person on the other end of your swiping screen unless your swiping was fueled by a few glasses of Chardonnay and you're willing to forgo the risks in place of the rewards. That being said, anyone can make a dating profile and find a connection.  If my ex was able to meet women on the internet while I was at home pregnant with his babies, you better believe that plenty of other two-faced guys are available for the next 45 minutes or so. It's possible that you don't care if he's married, jobless, or wanted in another state, BUT if anything on that list sounds like a turnoff, follow these steps to find out the dirty deets before getting dirrrty.

Start with your personal defense. 
1.) Share his picture, name, or phone number with a close friend  
2.) Get i…

59 things to do instead of calling your ex

Image
Recovery after a breakup involves more than just willpower, it takes an entire shift of habit. We become so used to speaking to our partner, that when the relationship cuts off we're left with a huge gap of time that could be filled with tears and tissues, or as an opportunity to create a fierce new self identity. Here are a ton of suggestions for how to fill the time instead of circling back to the broken familiarity.

1.) Call a friend


2.) Take a walk

3.) Read a book

4.) Color a mandala

5.) Spend a few mindful minutes in quiet

6.) Go to the library

7.) Look up a recipe

8.) Write in a journal

9.) Join a gym

10.) Go shopping

11.) Take a hike

12.) Make a spotify playlist

13.) Follow MindBodyGreen on Facebook

14.) Follow Dylan Werner on Instagram

15.) Wander through a book store

16.) Write a grocery list

17.) Do a workout

18.) Draw a picture

19.) Call a family member

20.) Read a blog

21.) Go to church

22.) Do a new hairstyle

23.) Listen to music

24.) Read a newspaper at the coffee sh…

North Star

Early on, when I was falling apart, a friend gave me the advice to, "find someone who has what I want and do what they did." I looked around a room of strangers sharing experiences and literally picked out a person who was wearing a shirt I liked and decided I would follow her lead... for the time being. Although I quickly learned that she did have more substantial things that I wanted- a relationship, character, a voice- our connection would be short lived because she also had something else I knew well- problems. Finding a sponsor in Al-Anon was harder than I thought.

At first I tried calling a few people with easily accessible numbers and reached out to them instead of screaming alone in my head. It was a relief, but brought about a hint of shame when I thought about the verbal onslaught of relationship woes I threw at them. It was no wonder that they didn't openly bring forth the offer to be a sponsor. Still, they did offer meaningful advice when I needed it most and…

Permission to be Imperfect

I am the opposite of a Pinterest Mom. Don't get me wrong- I love Pinterest, but I can't bring forth the magnificent artistry no matter how hard I try or how easy the pin claims to be. Take, for example, my cloth diaper board. I literally named the board about my toddler's poo pants "Haute Fluff" because I thought that shit was adorable and high fashion. Behind the screens, I dealt with more leaks than I can count and a broken dryer, spiders crawling in the sunning diaper rack, and the reality that I will never be *that* green no matter how hard I try. This is why my third baby is in sposies and my middle child pees the bed at age four. 

The point I'm trying to make is that I'm not perfect. Although in my vanity I do take 8 selfies before posting the shot online, I know that my imperfections are part of me and they are too numerous to count. However, there was a time when I thought that accepting my imperfections meant that I could label them all. I couldn…

Day 1

I've decided to crack my heart wide open and share my broken. It's fitting to start this on Valentine's because I feel that true love is in spite, or sometimes even, because of faults. My greatest fault was a misunderstanding of love. Call it codependency, narcissism, or naivety, there was a great ambivalence toward love in my heart. When my marriage literally ended (even though it was doomed from the start), I heeded the advice of friends and an exasperated therapist and set out for an Al Anon meeting. This is the story of my recovery.
On February 17, I coaxed my toddlers into the babysitting room and crossed the hall to room 121. An acquaintance had invited me to her meeting and shared the caveat of babysitting so I had no reason not to attend. I sat next to her and she offered me the gift of silence. "Just listen for the first six weeks," she said. I listened expectantly to strangers speaking in a gentle language I didn't understand. They promised I would f…